Why We Chose to Sleep Train

The first few days after we brought Ronin home from the hospital were hard. We knew it would be difficult, but nobody prepared us for how hard it was. The first night home, Ronin cried. All night. I mean, all night. I came down around 6:00 in the morning bawling my eyes out, and asked my mom if it would always be like this. She said no, that it gets better and I will sleep again. I didn't believe her. I really, truly thought that I would never sleep again. Ronin didn't cry much in the hospital, if at all. So when he cried, I was so sad. And so tired. And so confused. Haha. 

At his two week appointment, Ronin's doctor recommended a book to us: On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep. He said he recommends this book to all of his patients and sleeping through the night was something that I took for granted before Ronin was born, and I would do anything to get even a good five hours of interrupted sleep. Preston and I got the book, and read it in two days. It had really great information and I highly recommend it to first time, second time, and all-time parents! 

The biggest takeaway that I got from the book, and why I feel comfortable and confident in sleep training Ronin, is that babies need a schedule. However, babies don't know what that schedule is. They don't have a concept of time, other than knowing that it's light and dark outside. If we let babies choose their own schedule, they won't get sleep, and we won't get sleep. I need to sleep in order to take care of Ronin, and I had many words with Heavenly Father when Ronin wouldn't sleep. By getting Ronin on a good sleep schedule, the Meldrum household was much happier. 

We follow what's suggested in babywise, a sleep, eat, wake cycle. Ronin eats as soon as he wakes up from sleeping, because that's when he has the most energy, then he has awake time, which involves tummy time, reading books, playing with toys, etc., then when he is tired, he goes to sleep. That could be anywhere from a half hour to two hours, depending on if he is going through a growth spurt, how his night was the night before, etc. This allows Ronin to guarantee he gets a full feeding and a good rest every time he needs it. 

This method is to help babies be able to sleep through the night by 6 weeks old, which we did accomplish! The first time that Ronin slept through the night was a good time for us. Around 6 weeks is when the sleep deprivation caught up to us and we felt that we were in over our heads. When Ronin started sleeping through the night, I felt more human and more normal again. Ronin did stop sleeping through the night, for reasons that I haven't figured out yet haha, but we still keep him on his schedule. 

The biggest thing about sleep training and anything regarding babies is that we have to be patient with them. Every baby is different and every baby won't do the same things at the same time. I was telling Preston just the other day that we need to speak about our children differently. Instead of saying things like, "Ronin is bad at taking naps," or "Ronin doesn't do this very well", we have to say stuff like "Nap time is something that we are working on," and "This is what we are doing to improve the situation." When babies don't do what we want them to do, it's not their fault. Ronin isn't bad at taking naps. Sometimes he likes to spend a couple hours in his crib and sometimes he wants to spend 20 minutes in his crib. That doesn't mean he's good or bad at taking naps. He's just doing what's best for him and letting me know when he needs something different. If he takes a 20 minute nap, maybe he is going through a growth spurt and needs more food. If he takes a 2 hour nap, maybe he is in sleep debt and needs a little more. No scenario is right or wrong. It just is what it is. 

Sleep training is something that worked really well for us. Ronin was sleeping in his own crib at 3 weeks. He was in our room with us in a travel crib, but every time he made a sound, Preston and I would wake up, and every time Preston or I made a sound, Ronin would wake up. It made sleeping even harder when we were all three worried about what the others were doing. This method also has helped Ronin be able to sleep anywhere- hotels, Disneyland, airplanes, which has been such a blessing! 

I understand that sleep training is not for everyone, and that's okay. However, we as mothers and parents should never judge another parent for what they choose to do to raise their kid. As long as the kid is safe and happy, then it really doesn't matter and is none of your business! I'm really grateful that we were able to find a method that worked for us and that we are able to get some good chunks of sleep at night so we can be here for Ronin and be present and awake in his life! 

Sleepy Ronin in both his travel crib and room crib!