The Positive Line

In March, we were officially off birth control and trying to get pregnant. I definitely went into trying to conceive with the idea that I would get pregnant on the first time. That didn't happen. In fact, it didn't happen again, and again, and again. In my mind, this felt like years. In reality, it was about four months. I was so ready to be a mom, though, so it felt like forever. 

On July 27th, 2020 (I remember because that was the day that Preston went back to work after four months of quarantine), I had one more pregnancy test, so I figured why not? I did the whole routine- peeing on the stick, waiting the longest three minutes of my entire life, and expecting a negative line. 

​This time was different, though. This time it was positive! 

I was shocked, to say the least. I really, truly wasn't expecting it. I couldn't believe it. I didn't have any of the typical pregnancy symptoms, and I was really just taking the test as part of my weekly routine. I was so happy. I didn't know what to do, this was the first day that Preston was back at work and away from me in four months so I just walked around my house! I eventually hopped in the shower and just cried. Happy tears, of course. I was planning on making dinner for Preston that night, since it was his first day back to work in so long. I wanted to surprise him with something nice when he got home. Boy did that "something nice" turn into something amazing! I got out of the shower and ran to Walmart real quick to buy two more pregnancy tests. I knew that false positives were/are really rare, but I had to make sure! I took a total of three tests, which all said POSITIVE! I had gotten a onesie a while back when we first started trying that said "hello, daddy!" and planned to tell Preston that way when I did get pregnant. 

​I arranged the onesie and all three tests on our bed, right where Preston usually sleeps. My plan was to wait for him to go into the bedroom on his own and see it. However, I couldn't wait very long once he got home! Almost immediately, I said "I have a surprise for you in the bedroom!" This wasn't too unusual for me- I'm always surprising Preston with different things. I told Preston to follow me into the room, and he saw the onesie with the positive tests. He immediately grabbed my hands, fell to his knees, and prayed a prayer of gratitude. With tears in his eyes, he said "Heavenly Father, thank you." It was simple. It was powerful. I couldn't wait to see him become a father, and now it was going to happen even sooner than I thought possible.

Preston and I talked and cried and laughed all night. We were so excited and couldn't wait to see who baby Meldrum would be. 

I was dying to tell someone the good news, but I knew that with the possibility of something going wrong in the first trimester that it wasn't the smartest idea to go about broadcasting the news. We went over to Preston's parents house for an afternoon one day, and Pres kept asking me what I wanted for dinner. I kept changing my mind and saying that nothing sounded good. The next day at work, his mom asked him if I was pregnant. Since she figured it out, we decided we wanted to go ahead and tell all of our parents so nobody felt left out. We bought baby shoes and put them in a box with the lid saying, "could be pink, 

could be blue, all we know is... we are due! April 2021" and gave that to Preston's dad. We FaceTimed my dad and step mom and told them that the baby was coming in April, and we asked my mom if she would like to come the first weekend of April for General Conference and to help us with our new baby :) She was delighted and shocked all at once! 

From the beginning, I felt a little bit wary of the whole situation. I knew the possibility of something going wrong during pregnancy, but I never imagined that something would go wrong with my pregnancy. The idea of a miscarriage was always in the back of my mind, not because I wanted it to happen, but because I wanted to prepare myself mentally and emotionally if that ever did happen. I started having really bad period-like cramps around week 6, and I asked some friends who had been pregnant before if that was normal. They all said yes, as long as there was no blood. There was no blood, so I felt a little bit less worried. Pres and I went to dinner and I knew as soon as I got home that something was wrong. I'll save you the details, but I was pretty sure I was in the middle of having a miscarriage. I called my doctor the next day to get an appointment and I was able to see her that week. 

On August 13th , 2020, my OB confirmed my miscarriage.