The Positive Line (Again)

About three weeks after I miscarried, Preston and I moved into his parents house. This move was something that we had already been planning, as we both lost our jobs and apartment due to COVID. We were looking forward to the move and to the change. We didn't love our apartment we were in, and after the miscarriage, I needed so badly for a change. I was cleared to go back to my job shortly after we moved in, and the distraction was good to help me get through the heartache. I got back into the grind of working every day, but I started to notice that I had bad heartburn frequently. This is really unusual for me, I rarely got heartburn. I decided to take a pregnancy test again, Preston and I weren't "trying" but we also weren't not trying. My body was healed and the bleeding stopped, so we felt okay to resume the making of babies part. 

I took the test just like last time, but this time it was super casual. I wasn't expecting a positive or a negative. I don't know what I was expecting. I looked down at the test and it was positive. I didn't know if my eyes were deceiving me or if this was real life. I called Preston into the bathroom and didn't say anything, I just showed him the test. "That's great!" he said. I wanted this to be real, and I know he did too, but we both didn't know if this was a real positive. I feared this could be a side effect of the miscarriage. Pregnancy tests still showed positive lines after the miscarriage, because my HCG levels hadn't leveled out yet. I couldn't help but be wary considering everything that had happened before. 

I called my doctor Monday morning and I was able to be seen the next day. They ran some blood tests and other tests to make sure I was healthy, and of course to see if this was a pregnancy. The doctor had me come in three times that week, all to do blood tests to check if my HCG levels were going up (pregnant) or going down (side effect of miscarriage). Each time, my HCG levels went up significantly, which means I was pregnant! We scheduled an ultrasound for the next week, and I was both excited and nervous for that appointment. I was excited to see my baby but nervous that there wouldn't be a baby again. 

Preston was able to come into this appointment with me, and we held hands the whole time. We were both so nervous. When my doctor started the ultrasound, I prepared for the worst. Almost immediately, my doctor said "I see a heartbeat!" To say I was relieved is an understatement. I was so happy. I cried again in my doctor's office, but this time it was tears of joy. Preston and I had no idea what we were looking at, but we saw that little heartbeat moving, and we knew that this baby was going to pick up all of the broken pieces.