The Birth
Ronin's birth story was crazy from start to finish. I truly didn't know what to expect going into labor and giving birth and all that stuff. I deliberately didn't ready anything about giving birth or labor, because I knew I would just freak myself out and give myself a panic attack. I didn't think a lamaze class or any birthing class would help. I knew that nothing could prepare me for giving birth anyway, so why freak myself out beforehand? But, let's talk details...
On May 14th, 2021, at around 1:00 PM, I had my regular 38 week check up with my OB. I had an induction scheduled for the next Wednesday, May 19th, 2021. At this 38 week appointment, we were going to talk details about the induction and how to prepare for that. When my OB checked everything at my appointment, she said that I was 4 cm dilated already! I didn't know exactly what that meant, but I knew in order to start pushing, I needed to be at 10 cm. My OB explained that we had two options, a membrane sweep, which would separate the membrane from the cervix, and give me a higher chance of giving birth before the induction, or just letting it be and move forward with the induction. My OB explained that even with the membrane sweep, that won't guarantee labor, but 50% of women go into labor within 48 hours after the membrane sweep happens. Preston and I decided to go ahead and do it, we were ready to meet this baby boy, I was ready to not be pregnant anymore, and the worst that could happen is I wouldn't go into labor and just have some cramping.
The cramping was no joke. It started on the way home from the doctor and it was intense. I knew it wasn't contractions, but it wasn't comfortable at all haha. Preston and I got chick-fil-a and went home. We started playing xbox and just kind of waited to see what would happen. Around 5:30 pm, I started contracting. They came about every nine minutes or so, but by 6:00 pm they were every four minutes. Preston always laughs because I was downstairs literally in labor and contracting, and he would hear me in pain, but then look at his screen upstairs and see that I was still playing the game. He always said he married me for a reason hahah.
I finally went upstairs around 6:00 or so to figure out if this was really happening. I thought my water had broken, but I also wasn't sure and thought maybe I was just imagining it. I didn't know what it would feel like so I was going off of feelings and intuition. We went back and forth for a while, we didn't want to go to the hospital just to be turned away. But we also didn't want to not go to the hospital in case my water did break and Ronin was coming. I didn't want a home birth. We decided to go on to the hospital and got there around 7:30.
We checked in and it seemed pretty normal. It wasn't like the movies, I wasn't screaming and yelling and trying to get a doctor right away. I just kind of walked in and said "uhhhh I think I'm in labor." They did all the tests and took us back to a room. They hooked me up on all the machines and ran tests and we waited for what felt like a million years. I wanted the epidural because I was hurting, but I still wasn't sure if I was in actual labor or not! The nurse came back in to check my dilation and she said I was at 8 cm! I asked if I should go ahead and tell my mom to start driving from New Mexico because she wanted to be here in Utah when Ronin was born, and she said "yes, you are not going anywhere tonight without your baby!" It was really happening!!
I don't remember a ton of what happened because of all the emotions I was feeling and everything going on. I did get the epidural when I was about 9 cm dilated, and once that kicked in it was a good time. I felt better because I couldn't feel the contractions. I stayed at 9 cm for a while, and they had my lay on my side to try and move Ronin's head more down or straight or something? I honestly don't remember the why behind laying on my side for so long haha. They put me on oxygen because I kept freaking out and felt like I couldn't breath. I was falling in and out of sleep for a few hours or so.
Preston told me after the fact that Ronin's heart rate kept going significantly down and that's another reason they had me wait so long until we started pushing. I was drifting in and out of sleep with the blood pressure machine periodically squeezing my arm. Preston got up eventually and gave me a blessing. It was simple and sweet. He said "I promise you will have a safe and healthy delivery." I didn't know at the time what inspired him to give me a blessing, but I was glad he did it. That simple sentence made everything better.
Around 1:00 in the morning rolled around and the nurses said that Ronin was in a safe position and it was time to start pushing. My baby boy was coming. I pushed a few times and it was honestly harder than the entire labor process. I had to keep my legs up but that was really hard because I couldn't feel my legs since I had the epidural in. Every time I pushed, I felt light headed and like I was going to pass out. Preston also told me later that every time I pushed, Ronin's heart rate would go significantly down again.
The nurses said it was time to call in my OB, but I didn't realize that was because things were going a little wrong. My OB came in and we tried pushing a few more times, but he still wouldn't come out. My OB said that we could try and vacuum Ronin out, but we could only do that a few times until it wouldn't be safe for him. She said that if we couldn't get him out with the vacuum, we would have to go to an emergency C-section. I really didn't want a C-section, but I would've done anything to make sure that Ronin got here safely.
We pushed a few more times, and I felt him crowning. My OB said that if I could give her three more really good pushes, he would be here. I asked her if she promised, and she said yes, but that I had to push really hard and get this baby boy here. We pushed one, two, three more times and he was here at 1:59 AM on May 15th, 2021. Ronin was here in my arms and I had a baby. I was a mother.
They took him out of my arms because he wasn't breathing. They put him under the light and did all the tests and things that they do to new born babies. I was getting stitched up because I tore a lot. Luckily, Preston took pictures of our minutes-old perfect baby boy. They got him to breath and cleaned him up and wrapped him in a blanket and placed him on my chest. That was a moment that I could never put into words because I could never find the right ones to describe it.
Ronin Scott Meldrum. It seemed like a dream. We waited for this moment for so long and he was finally here. Our life could finally begin.
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